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Lastly, I cannot forget Guy Pearce in Priscilla: Queen of the Desert. I’m still disheartened that I didn’t get to see much of Rocky’s crotch between the seams of his gold shiny underpants. The second is freeze framing during the naughty scenes of Rocky Horror Picture Show. The first is Ryan Phillipe’s arse in Cruel Intentions. Of course, while QAF was one of my first on-screen explorations of my sexuality, there are a few other worthy mentions: Some still do get kicked out, even in the year 2020. It may sound like a hard coming out story, but personally I feel privileged with how it all went. She is, and has always been, a good mother. But I know the thought of kicking me out never crossed her mind as she told me years later. It took me a few years to find common ground with her. My Mum, on the other hand, was devout Christian, so it was understandable that her catching me did ruffle feathers. No cares, no arguments, just a simple “as long as your happy with it.”Īll parents should take note of that response. I know this because I had to come out to Dad a few years later, and I don’t know why I was so tense about it. In some ways, I think that’s easier than verbally telling your parents your gay. And yet, in a cruel twist of fate, Mum did catch me watching gay porn a few years later in my own bedroom. So in the end, I was never caught secretly watching QAF. And when my viewing habits changed, I also had to be quick with the other hand too. There were a few times Mum nearly caught me, but I was quick with the finger and even quicker with the excuse. For the first time, I didn’t feel alone.īut I knew Mum wouldn’t approve, and so my finger rested on the “channel up” button, ready to switch at the sound of a creaking door. At the beginning of my QAF experience, I watched it with delighted eyes. But I didn’t start enjoying it that way at first. So I’d huddle up close to the TV, turn the volume down and watch.Īt that time (this was early 2000s), a lot of people would have considered QAF as verging on pornography. My Mum and Dad were also divorced, which means I had the lounge room to myself. It was perfect timing because Mum usually went to bed early. Here they are: Secretly watching Queer As FolkĪt 11 pm, on certain weeknights, SBS would play Queer As Folk (QAF). And in that expedition came three childhood memories that shaped my sexuality. A treacherous expedition of self-discovery. Little did I know then that there was a long road ahead of me. And, for a time, I felt like the only one who did. I even plastered suggestive women on my school books as a vain attempt to stop the bullying.īut in the end, I realised I liked the boys the same way they liked the girls. I dated girls, I faked stories about kissing girls and I pretended to flirt with them in front of friends. And yet, I still tried to follow along, for no other reason but to fit in. When all the boys were chasing girls in primary school, it confused me.